I Had My First One-On-One As Tech Lead. I Talked For Forty Minutes. The Engineer Said Seven Words.

2026-05-24 · Source: Data Science on Medium · Field: Business & Management — Corporate Strategy & Leadership, Project & Product Management · Depth: Fundamental Awareness, quick

Summary

A new tech lead recounts their initial one-on-one meeting with an engineer, James, where the lead spoke for forty minutes while James uttered only seven words. Despite meticulously preparing a twelve-item agenda for the 30-minute session, the tech lead realized many discussion points were either already known to James or had been previously communicated. This experience highlighted a significant misstep in preparation, as the lead focused solely on their own agenda rather than understanding the engineer's current priorities or concerns. The encounter served as a critical lesson on the importance of active listening and tailoring one-on-one discussions to the team member's needs, rather than simply running through a pre-set list of topics.

Key takeaway

For new Tech Leads conducting one-on-ones, prioritize active listening over delivering a pre-planned agenda. Before the meeting, review all updates and consider what the engineer might want to discuss, rather than just what you want to cover. Your goal is to understand their current challenges and priorities, not to disseminate information they already know. This approach fosters trust and ensures the meeting addresses their most pressing needs, making the time truly valuable for both parties.

Key insights

Effective one-on-ones prioritize listening to the engineer's current thoughts over the lead's pre-set agenda.

Principles

• Preparation should center on the engineer.
• Active listening reveals true priorities.
• Pre-meeting context is often redundant.

In practice

• Avoid pre-scripted, rigid agendas.
• Focus on engineer's current concerns.
• Review updates before the meeting.

Topics

• Tech Leadership
• One-on-One Meetings
• Active Listening
• Engineering Management
• Communication Skills
• Team Dynamics

Best for: Director of AI/ML, Software Engineer, Consultant

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Editorial summary, takeaway, and curation by AIssential. Original article published by Data Science on Medium.